The legal stuff:
Ranma ½ is written by Rumiko Takahashi,
produced in Japan by Sunday Comics, and Shogankukan Video (Studios?)
It is released in North America by Viz Communications. This story
and others by me like it are in no way meant to be used for profit, just
entertainment. Anyone else who thinks otherwise is plain loco.
Besides, I’m poor and cannot afford being sued by anyone.
Jiro, Jakku Mizuno, Iikiba Hibiki, Yoiko
Hibiki, Kanaeda Saotome, Ranko Saotome, Gel, Mizuko and Oyu are figments
of my imagination, and I am claiming them as such.
Iikiba Hibiki, although my character, has
been designed to be able to cross into other stories or series with no
reason whatsoever. I don’t mind if other people use him in their
stories, but I would appreciate being asked first. I just want to
make sure Iikiba stays within character, that’s all. My e-mail address
is at: nikiparadis@hotmail.com .
For the sake of reading convenience, I’ll assume
that not everyone understands Japanese and thus keep the use of Japanese
words to a minimum, except in the case of titles or names.
For these I’ll leave a brief translation here.
Oniisan: Big Brother – the formal
form. Jiro addresses Ryouga in this way.
Oniichan: Big Brother – more familiar
form. Yoiko addresses Iikiba in this way.
Otousan: Father – the formal form.
Tousan: Father or ‘Dad’ – more familiar
form. Iikiba addresses his father in this manner.
Touchan: ‘Daddy’ – most familiar
form. Yoiko calls her father this.
Okaasan: Mother – the formal form.
Okaachan: Mother or ‘Mom’ – semiformal form.
Iikiba addresses his mother in this way.
Kaachan: ‘Mommy’ – most familiar
form. Yoiko calls her mother this.
Oneechan: Big Sister – more familiar form.
Kasumi gets called this a lot.
Oyaji: Pop, or literally “old man” – Ranma
addresses his father this way. Incidentally, Kanaeda calls his dad
this as well.
Recipe of Disaster
Niki (NeeP) Paradis
Chapter One: Boys With Bandannas
The young man stood alone in the middle of a busy
street. People walked by him, on their way to wherever it was that
they were going. The young man sighed. At least they knew where
they were going. It wasn’t as if he hadn’t any idea of where he wanted
to go, but, rather, he didn’t know how to get there.
He walked up to a koban (police-box) and politely
inquired about the whereabouts of Ucchan’s Okonomiyaki shop. The
officer, a rookie who was new to the area of Nerima, had no idea, but offered
to call the senior officer who regularly patrolled the area and get the
answers from him.
Bring ... Bring ...
“Hello?”
“Excuse me, sir, but there is a young man
here, asking for directions about ...”
“Wait a sec, a young man?”
“Yes sir...”
“About sixteen or seventeen years old?”
“Yes...”
“Carrying a backpack and umbrella and wearing
a bandanna?”
“Yes sir...”
“Shit!” The senior officer mumbled.
“Not him again...”
“Sir? ...”
“Listen. That young idiot is perpetually
lost. You can give him directions for a certain location today, but
sure enough he’ll ask you for the same directions tomorrow. Better
get used to this loony.”
“ ... ”
“Is it the Tendou Dojo again or for the High
School?”
“Neither sir, he’s asked for directions for
Ucchan’s Okonomiyaki shop.”
“Oh. Well then, tell him...”
The officer relayed the directions to the
patiently waiting bandanna-clad youth. Who thanked him and dashed
away ... in the wrong direction.
“Hey wait!” cried the rookie. He was
about to dashed after the boy when another young man stumbled up to him.
“Where is Furinkan High School?” He
asked.
The rookie stared, wondering just how many
bandanna-wearing, backpack and umbrella carrying boys there were out there
any way?
The young man ran through the streets, almost
swearing out loud as he dashed by buildings that seemed familiar but he
wasn’t sure. I have to find the Okonomiyaki shop, I just gotta.
He dashed around the same block three times, before coming to a complete
stop. His eyes filled with tears as he again cursed his lack of direction.
He wiped the tears from his eyes with his fists and yelled loudly enough
that the people surrounding him quickly decided to give him a wide berth.
“WHERE THE HELL AM I NOW?!?”
“WHERE THE HELL AM I NOW?!?”
Ukyou looked up from the grill that she was
cleaning. The shop was still open for business, but she preferred
tidying up whenever she could. That cut down on the amount of time
it took her to clean after the shop was closed, and it made a good impression
on the Health Inspector whenever he came by on surprise visits.
Is that Ryouga? She wondered
if the idiot out there knew that he was making an ass out of himself.
It was one of those things that can drive potential customers away: loud
idiots making nuisances of themselves. She had to do something before
the idiot costs her the evening’s business.
She marched through the door, armed with her
battle-spatula (just in case) and a look that meant business.
“RYOUGA, YOU JACKASS! WHAT THE HELL
DO YOU THINK YO --”
Ukyou stopped short as she got a good look
at the particular idiot that she was yelling at.
It wasn’t Ryouga.
The boy looked at her, re-shouldered his backpack,
all the while looking as embarrassed as Ukyou herself felt.
“Excuse me,” he asked. “Where would
I find Ucchan’s Okonomiyaki shop?”
Confused, the owner of said shop jerked her
thumb at the sign behind her.
“Oh good,” the boy sighed in relief.
“I finally found it.”
The rookie was pondering about the two strange
young men with apparent lack of direction when a young girl interrupted
him.
“Excuse me, I am hoping that you could help
me...”
The rookie stared. The girl was about
fifteen years of age. Her blond hair was up in two ponytails on the
top of her head, and kept out of her face and secured behind her pointed
ears with a blue and white bandanna. She carried a heavy backpack
with a blue umbrella strapped on top. Her demeanour was that of a
person who has travelled a great distance.
“Are you lost too?” asked the police officer.
“No. But I am looking for someone who
is. You’ve probably already seen him. I’m looking for a boy
wearing a bandanna, carrying an umbrella and backpack. Could you
tell me where he went?”
“Which one of ‘em were you looking for?”
The girl just stared blankly at him.
The distance between the koban and the high
school was about three blocks but it took Ryouga Hibiki two hours to get
there. To his dismay, school had already been let out for the day
and most of the club meetings and extra-curricular activities were almost
finished. There was next to no one around, and definitely not Ranma
Saotome.
“Damn you, Ranma,” he growled to himself.
“Avoiding a man to man fight like that! You will pay!”
Of course, it hadn’t occurred to him that
if he made it to the school an hour and a half ago, he would have found
Ranma mashed into the ground with a huge mallet imprint in the side of
his head. But within an hour and a half time span, Ranma regained
consciousness, brushed himself off, insulted Akane’s lack of femininity,
and taken a flight across town via the same mallet that knocked him flat.
However, all that Ryouga could see was the fact that Saotome had ran away
from him again.
It wasn’t his day.
Then he took a look up into the sky.
Off in the distance, dark clouds were forming, and with the wind blowing
those same clouds directly towards him (or so it seemed), Ryouga figured
that he had less than an hour to find a sheltered place to set up camp
for the night. And on top of that, his tent had a leak in it and
the patch kit was in Jiro’s backpack.
Ryouga sighed. It was going to be a
loooong night as well.
Ukyou watched her visitor eat. He ate
in a way that suggested that he hadn’t eaten for hours and yet he ate in
a style that indicated that he knew that there was a certain way to go
about eating okonomiyaki. Curiously she looked the boy over while
he occupied with eating his meal.
He was somewhat taller than she was, and muscular
but not bulky. He had thick brown hair that looked like it was once
cut short but was starting to grow out. It was kept out of his hazel
eyes with a plain red bandanna. He wore a sleeveless red shirt and
grey pants that were tied at the ankles.
Pleasant looking individual, she thought
to herself. Nothing like Ranchan, but not bad looking at all.
In fact, if she had to compare the stranger to someone at all, she would
have to pick Ryouga. Not that he was anywhere close to her ideal
of a perfect man, but he had more in common with this boy than Ranma would.
Ukyou then realised that she was staring and
that object of her gaze was staring back, his cheeks flushed red.
She cleared her throat as she quickly turned her head.
“Are you ... Kuonji Ukyou?” he asked around
a mouthful of food.
“I guess I am, honey.” Ukyou was starting
to become intrigued. “So what’s your name, Sugar? Why were
you looking for this shop?”
The boy took a last swallow of his meal, before
replying.
“My name is Hii ... uhh just call me Iikiba.”
Iikiba? As in “good fangs”?
No way...
“I travelled a long way, on a quest for my
mother.” He grinned, revealing his namesakes. “She said to
me that you have something that she needs.”
Do I know of any older women?
Asked Ukyou to herself. Out loud she said, “Your mother, huh?
Do I know her?”
“No ... But she knows you ...uh, of you ...
heh, heh.” Iikiba blushed as if he caught himself saying something
that he shouldn’t have. “Well anyway, she wanted me to get a copy
of your mother’s okonomiyaki recipe.”
Jiro looked around the school ground.
No Ryouga in sight. She knew he came here, his ki signature was evident,
but he was obviously elsewhere right now. Probably looking for
shelter, she thought as the first few drops of rain came down on her.
She pulled her umbrella out of its straps on her backpack and opened it
up. She wasn’t cursed like her “brother” but she wasn’t eager to
get soaked, at least not until she got her hands on some dry clean clothes.
She sighed, everyday it seemed like she was
trying to find Ryouga. At least now he was willing to accept her
company instead of trying to lose her all of the time. Who knows?
Maybe one day his family’ll adopt her, and then she’d have someplace where
she belonged. Until then, she will be content to be his guide and
to show him just how helpful a little sister (even if it is only in name)
could be.
Jiro stood still. She widened her senses,
trying the air around her for the right sense of Ryouga-- ness. She
strained, listening, feeling with every fibre of her being until she felt
a trace of Ryouga’s chi at the edge of her sensory net towards the shopping
district of Nerima. Satisfied that he was within tracking distance,
she set off at a brisk pace towards him.